Decisions

I have some news that some of you will see as wonderful and others will see as quite disappointing. Earlier today I decided to become a football fan. I know this comes as a shock to many of you, but I believe it is the best decision. Later today, I am going to buy a Broncos jersey. I am going to start watching the games religiously. I have even begun studying the players and their stats. I called Comcast and ordered the NFL network. I think I may even call into sports programs on talk radio. My entire life is going to change.

As wonderful as all of this may sound, none of it changes the fact that football remains one of if not the stupidest games on the planet. I can decide to be a football fan, but that has no effect on the reality that I despise football. Ask anyone who is actually a football fan how they came to be a fan, and their answer will not be because they decided to. As many of you know, I am a soccer (real football) fan. Why am I a soccer fan? I am a soccer fan because I love soccer. I never decided to love soccer. I just do. It is great. It brings me joy and satisfaction. Football never has and never will bring me joy, even if I decide to be a fan.

You see, our decisions do not determine our affections. Our affections determine our decisions. Here is what I mean by this. I never decided to fall in love with my wife. I just love her and therefore decided to marry her. I never decided to love my children. I just think they are they greatest things to ever enter my life. I never decided to enjoy hunting, for it has always simply brought me joy. I never decided which flavors are most pleasurable on my taste buds, but I decide to eat the foods with the most pleasurable flavors. I never decided that winter is the best season of the year, but I did decide to live in Colorado where I can enjoy winter. I never decided that hot and humid weather is miserable, but I continuously decide to avoid such weather. We do not get to decide where our affections lie. We simply recognize where our affections lie and make decision based upon our affections.

We had many sayings in Alcoholics Anonymous. One of them was, “Fake it ’till you make it.” There is no such thing as faking wanting to get sober. You either want to get sober or you want to drink yourself into oblivion. If you are “faking” it, you are doing so because you want to get sober. If you do not want to get sober, you would just drink. I never decided that I wanted to quit doing drugs. I realized that I was going to die, and I wanted to not die. Therefore, I decided to get sober because I wanted to live. Our wants and desires determine our decisions, not the other way around.

What does this have to do with anything? Well, it has a lot to do with some very important things. Do you remember making a decision to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? Have you ever asked anyone if they want to make a decision to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior? Do you know anyone who bases their assurance of salvation on the decision that they made to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior? Do you base your assurance of salvation on your decision to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? Before you jump to conclusions about my theology, let me say that I absolutely believe that we are put to a decision when we are confronted with the gospel. I remember clearly the July evening in 1999 when I decided to ask Christ if He could find some way to forgive me for all the horrible things I had done. So please, do not think I am diminishing the importance of the decisions we make. What I am doing is looking beneath the decisions we make.

We do what we want. While we were yet children of wrath and dead in our trespasses, we made decisions that brought us pleasure. Now, we are alive in Christ; and we still make decisions that bring us pleasure. The only difference between our decisions now and our decisions then is that something else now brings us pleasure. While self-exaltation once brought us pleasure, the beholding of the glory of God now brings us pleasure. C.S. Lewis once said that our problem is not that we seek too much pleasure in the world but that we are too easily pleased by the world. We will always decide to seek pleasure, and our decision to follow Christ is no different.

The question we must now ask is this. How are our affections changed? How is it that we now find pleasure in something that we once despised? The answer is not that we decided to have different desires. No logical man can argue that he determines what his desires are. The answer is that different desires were awakened within us. “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied” (Matthew 5:6; NASB). When Jesus met with the Samaritan woman at the well He told her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water. Everyone who drinks [from this well] will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst.” The woman responded and said, “Sir, give me this water, so I will not be thirsty nor come all the way here to draw” (John 3:10,14-15; NASB). Her desire was to have her physical thirst quenched and to not have to walk all the way to the well in the heat of the day. She had no thirst for Christ and only wanted Him because He could better satisfy her physical desires than her other means were able.

We find the same scenario in John 6. Jesus had fed 5,000 men with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. The next day, the crowd was seeking Jesus and found Him across the sea at Capernaum. Jesus spoke to them and said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you seek Me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate of the loaves and were filled. Do not work for food which perishes, but for the food which endures to eternal life which the Son of Man will give to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, it is not Moses who has given you bread out of heaven, but it is My Father who gives you true bread out of heaven. I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst” (John 6:26,27,32,35; NASB). Christ did not come to fulfill our old desires. He came to birth within us new desires which would be satisfied by Him. While we were dead in our transgressions, God made us alive together with Christ (Ephesians 2:5). According to God’s great mercy, Jesus Christ has caused us to be born again to a living hope (1 Peter 1:3). “These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full” (John 15:11; NASB). “These things I speak in the world so that they may have My joy made full in themselves” (John 17:13; NASB).

“‘Behold, days are coming,’ declares the LORD, ‘when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah, not like the covenant which I made with their fathers in the day I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, although I was a husband to them,’ declares the LORD. ‘But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days,’ declares the LORD, ‘I will put My law within them and on their heart I will write it; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people’” (Jeremiah 31:31-32; NASB). “I will make an everlasting covenant with them that I will not turn away from them, to do them good; and I will put the fear of Me in their hearts so that they will not turn away from Me. I will rejoice over them to do them good and will faithfully plant them in this land with all My heart and with all My soul” (Jeremiah 32:40-41; NASB).

May we wake up every morning and decide to follow Christ. May we recognize the desires He has put into our hearts and freely seek complete satisfaction in the Bread of Life. May we give God glory for the work He has done in renewing us and exult in the proclamation of His grace. May our decisions reflect the work that He has done, and may He continue to uphold us by the word of His power.

- Jason N. Bolt

 

All-Sufficient Provider

During my first year of college, I was considering switching majors from one that would probably provide me with a good paying job to one that would maybe never even provide me with a job. I remember scouring the scriptures looking for guidance. The passages that stood out to me were Jesus feeding 5,000 people and talking about the birds that do not have to worry about anything because God provides everything for them. This spoke loudly to me, and I decided to trust God as my provider.

I knew my Global Studies degree would never really open any doors for me, but I did not care because I had God in my back pocket. When I left a paying job at the Denver Rescue Mission for a non-paying job at a local church, I had no fear because I thought I could use God as my trump card. If that was what He was calling us to do, then He would indeed provide; and watching Him provide was marvelous. I could tell you story after story of not having enough money for rent or not having enough money to get home from Turkey, yet God provided a way. Oh, how trustworthy He proved Himself to be! I used to joke that the month He did not provide for our rent, I would leave the ministry. I felt safe in saying this, for I believed He would always provide.

In May of 2006, I returned home from a trip to Thailand and found myself (and my family) homeless and without enough money to even buy food for my kids. I remember where I was when I crunched the numbers (though there were not many to crunch). What I remember even clearer is my response. I was angry. How dare God not provide what I think we need! How could He do such a thing to us? I was left with a dilemma. God was either not as trustworthy as I had thought, or His provision was something wholly other than what I had thought.

Repentance is a painful and wonderful thing. Three months later, I found myself in Nicaragua. We had gone to visit the community that lives within the landfill, and I was shocked by what we found. It was not the circumstances of the people that shocked me. I have seen some wretched and horrible things in my travels around the world. What shocked me was the type of people we found living in the dump, namely regenerate people. Without realizing it, I had reached the prior conclusion in my own mind that God would never allow His children to live in such a place. This conclusion certainly did not come from the scriptures. It came from my own desire to have a God who provides us with good things.

Later that night, a few of us sat around the table; and Jesse Armstrong pulled out his guitar. As we sang Thank You for Saving Me, I realized that God’s provision is salvation. Christ did not come to give bread to 5,000 people so that we would learn to trust Him to give us bread. He came to be bread. He did not come to draw water for us from the well. He came to be living water for us. He did not come to heal us from physical sickness. He came to be life for the spiritually dead. He did not come to calm the storm on the sea. He came to get into our boat.

“This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent” (John 17:3, NASB). “More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (Philippians 3:7, NASB). “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:19-20, NASB; italics added).

Christ did not come to satisfy the desires we had while we were in darkness, namely that our bellies would be full and that we would be safe and secure. He came to create a whole new desire within us that He would fulfill Himself. It is not His gifts that we should be after. It is Him that we should be after. He is seeking much more than our reliance upon Him for the things we need in this world. He is seeking our recognition of our utter dependence upon His being for our very existence. “And He [Christ] is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power” (Hebrews 1:3, NASB; italics added). Without the word of Christ, we would cease to be. We need Him today, and we will need Him tomorrow. Even more, we will need Him on the day of our trail; for He shall be our advocate having imputed His righteousness to us and taken our sin upon Himself.

May we worship God not mainly for His gifts, though they are wonderful, but mainly for Himself. May we not seek what it is that Christ can do for us but that which He is for us. May we not spend money for what is not bread and our wages for what does not satisfy. May we listen carefully to God and eat what is good and delight ourselves in His abundance. May we incline our ears and come to Him and listen that we may live, for God has made an everlasting covenant with us that we would not turn away from Him but that we would seek Him while He may be found and call upon Him while He is near (Isaiah 55:1-6).

- Jason N. Bolt

 

Serving God

Have you ever thought about the idea of serving God? How is it that an eternal being who lacks nothing and supplies for Himself everything He desires could be served? In earthly terms, a servant uses his abilities and value to bring pleasure to the one he is serving. I would serve an earthly master by doing the things that he is either unable or unwilling to do for whatever reason. For example, the chef at the White House prepares food for the President because he does not have the time and maybe does not know how to cook. My wife does my laundry because I am too lazy to do it myself. A farm-hand cleans the chicken coop because the farmer has better things to do. In all of these contexts of service, the servant’s worth is being used for the benefit of the one being served. We run into trouble, however, when we apply this paradigm to the way we serve God. He does not need our time, skills, abilities, insight, wisdom, talents, hard work, or anything else that we have to offer because He already has infinitely more of all of those things in and of Himself. So, why is it that we talk about serving God?

We talk about serving God because the Bible talks about serving God. The scriptures, particularly the Law of Moses, are filled with commands to serve God. “Only be very careful to observe the commandment and the law which Moses the servant of the LORD commanded you, to love the LORD your God and walk in all His ways and keep His commandments and hold fast to Him and serve Him with all your heart and with all your soul” (Joshua 22:5, NASB). We use this language because it is biblical, but what kind of meaning do we apply to it?

If we think of serving God the same way the White House chef serves the President, we have made a grave mistake; for God lacks nothing and therefore cannot be provided with anything that He does not already have. According to the scriptures, however, there must be some way in which we serve God. There must be a way to serve God that recognizes His perfection and satisfaction in Himself. There must be a way to serve God that does not aim to use the abilities and value of the servant to bring pleasure to the one being served.

There is indeed a way in which this takes place, and we find an example in Luke 16:3. “No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth” (NASB). According to this text, we have the ability to serve wealth; but how can we use our abilities and value to bring pleasure to wealth? Wealth does not have pleasure. Wealth does not have anything, and it is not in need of anything. Wealth is not served in the same way the White House chef serves the President. The paradigm in this situation in inverted. Instead of the servant’s abilities and value being used for the pleasure of the one being served, the abilities and value of the one being served are used for the pleasure of the servant. In this text, Christ explicitly links the type of service we rend to money to the type of service we rend to God. We cannot serve both God and money. In other words, we cannot simultaneously depend on both the value of our wealth and the value of our God for pleasure. God is the all sufficient one who supplies all of our needs and satisfies our souls. If we look to money for this, we end up despising God and denying His true value.

Let us continue to speak of serving God. Though we once were servants of money, lust, greed, hatred, falsehood, selfish ambition, and every other worldly thing that we thought would bring us pleasure and satisfy our souls, let us now boldly serve God and recognize His all sufficient glory that brings complete satisfaction and makes our joy complete. May God’s infinite abilities and value be used for our pleasure in Him, and in this way may Christ be glorified and magnified in our service to Him

- Jason N. Bolt

 

A Heart Aching Thank you

Beloved Friends and Family,

I begin this letter by calling you all beloved because that is what you have been to us. All of you in some way have supported us over the last four or more years. You have fed us when we were hungry and housed us when we were homeless. Many of you have prayed for us earnestly. Some of you have helped us with monthly needs, and others have helped us travel to more than 10 countries (some of them numerous times). In one way or another, all of you have walked with us as we have sought to help Hillside Community Church fulfill its vision by meeting the needs of the congregation at home and missionaries abroad. Through it all, you have provided us with an example of the body of Christ functioning with all of its different parts. For this, we are eternally grateful.

While our gratitude will last forever, we have always known that our time at Hillside wouldn’t. I used to wonder what would take us away from our role at Hillside as it was the best job I could have imagined. There is nothing quite like getting paid to do what you love to do. Throughout all of my time at Hillside, I never wanted to be anywhere else. This is one reason why my heart aches as I write this letter. Our time of serving at Hillside in an official capacity has come to an end, yet I still cannot think of anywhere else I would rather be. While this decision was quite sudden and painful, we nonetheless keep our trust in the sovereign Lord who indeed knows for what it is that He draws us away. While we do not know what our future holds, we rest in Him and exult in His ever felt company.

We realize that this letter provides you with very little information about our situation. We hope to communicate more with you in the future especially as we begin to turn the page and continue on to the next chapter in our life. In the meantime, please receive our sincere thank you and know that Christ is continuing to make our joy complete even in the most difficult of times.

By His Grace and for His Fame,

Jason, Sara, Ruth, and Caedmon Bolt

 

Mazungu (Mu-zoong-goo)

After a few plane rides and a little over 24 hours, I have arrived safely at my home in CO. The thing that always shocks me the most after a trip like this is the water pressure in the shower. Simply being able to take a shower is wonderful, but the pressure and heated water is almost too much. 

Our first day in Africa last week was spent on the road. We drove from Kampala to Mbale where we visited some children in the hospital. These children were three of the victims of a grenade attack on a school in the mountain village of Piswa where we would spend the next couple of days. A boy had taken the grenade from his parents and brought it to school. No one quite knew the reason, but the result was all too evident. The boy along with three other children were killed, and numerous others ended up in the hospital. What I mean by hospital is the place where they take sick and injured people. It was more like something out of a movie. The homeless shelter I used to work at had better conditions than this hospital.

Anyway, we visited Joy, Stella, and Milton that afternoon. They had all just come out of surgery and seemed to be in debilitating pain. We prayed over them and talked briefly with their families. Afterwards, we continued on our journey to the mountain village of Piswa where the incident had happened.

 

Piswa Trading Center

The average Ugandan family has 7.8 kids. Not all live past the age of five, but that makes for a lot of children running around. As we approached the village, hordes of little ones came running towards the road waiving their hands and yelling, “Mazungu, Mazungu!” I had never heard that word before, but it was evident that it had to do with the color of my skin. They do not get many white people up there, so it was a real treat for the kids to see people who looked so different.

 

Mazungu, Mazungu!

 

We spent most of the next two days visiting and playing with the kids from the school where the incident had happened. Food for the Hungry was conducting a training session for teachers, parents, and community leaders on trauma; so we tried to keep the kids busy with fun and games.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After two days in Piswa, we journeyed back down the mountain to Mbale where we visited another community known as Bafulah. We visited the homes (mud huts) of nine children and one clinic that was built and is staffed by Food for the Hungry.

 Even with as much as I travel, I still forget that places like this actually exist. Where I sit right now in my living room seems like a completely different world than where I was just a few days ago. The one nurse at the clinic sees about 30 patients a day, most of which have malaria. The ease and comfort of life in America is so easy and comfortable that I far too often forget and neglect the suffering of other people around the world. What a shame it is that I have to fly around the world in order to have my eyes opened.

On a positive note, we were able to visit the hospital in Mbale again before returning to Kampala. Joy had been released the day before, and Stella and Milton were both doing much better. We were able to get smiles and a few chuckles out of both of them. That was the highlight of the trip for me. These two kids are incredible expressions of hope. We were able to pray with them again and leave them with some small gifts from America. Please keep them in your prayers. Stella’s left leg was essentially crushed below the knee, and Milton’s right femur was snapped in two. Both of them have an external apparatus holding the bones in place with screws and bolts. Their recoveries will both be long, and they will need all the physical and spiritual strength they can get.

For those of you who know Luke, he sends his greetings. He is doing well and enjoys his work with Food for the Hungry. He is right where he is supposed to be.

 

View From Luke's Flat

I would also like to say thanks to all of you who have been praying for me (and the wife and kids) and those of you who made the trip financially possible. May our Lord bless you and keep you all.

 

Looking to Him,

Jason N. Bolt

 

Safe in Kampala

Yes, I have arrived safely back in Kampala. Over the last three days, we visited two different communities in eastern Uganda. To say that it was different than life in the States would be a useless understatement, so I will not say that. Actually, it is somewhat difficult to describe; so I will include some photos with a full update once I get to a location (probably my house in Golden) with an internet connection that will upload pictures in less than a day.

I was privileged to ride a taxi-motorcycle for the second time in my life today. For those of you who actually read these updates, you will remember that Lincoln and I hopped onto some taxis in Burma back in March. Well, they apparently have the same thing in Africa. It was a short ride, and I was thankful to have arrived in one piece.

I will send out a full update when I get home. Until then, may our Lord bless you and keep you all.

Looking to Him,

Jason N. Bolt

 

Arrived and Heading Out

Well, my flight from AMS to EBB was enjoyable. Those Dutch flight attendants are quite nice. Anyway, I arrived here in Uganda without any issues. It’s warm, and there are plenty of mosquitoes. Other than that, all is well. I know I said that I would keep you updated, but we will be heading out in the morning to visit some of the villages that Luke works with. I may be without internet access for a few days, so I will have to fill you in once we return to the capital. Until then, may our Lord bless you and keep you all!

Looking to Him,

Jason N. Bolt

 

Off to Africa

Well, here I am writing to you again about my next trip. I am in Amsterdam awaiting my flight to Entebbe. Four years have passed since my last trip to Africa, and this will be my first visit to Uganda. I will be visiting Luke Runyon (Hillside’s first missionary) and a few of the communities he works with. Luke is the Child Development Director for Food for the Hungry in Uganda. Two brothers from Cherry Hills Community Church in Highlands Ranch, CO will be joining me as well.

Once again, I ask you to keep me in your prayers. Uganda is actually one of the safer places in Africa, but it is still Africa. This trip has been a long time coming, and I am thrilled to see it finally unfolding. In all of my travels and short-term trips with Hillside over the last four years, Luke is the only missionary that we have yet to visit. That, as of later today, will no longer be the case. 

I will do my best to keep you updated. Please feel free to email me anytime. Thank you again for your prayers. May our heavenly Father continue to bestow grace and mercy upon you. May He be lifted up that we may look upon Him and be healed. May we know Him just as He knows us. Amen!

By His Grace,

Jason N. Bolt

 

Tiles, Spiders, Water Slides, and a Great Need

Our trip to Nicaragua was filled with all the things that such trips are usually filled with. Our team, I believe, had a great time learning and serving. Our kids had a great time learning and playing. That lovable wretch that I have mentioned a couple of times was nothing of the sort. In fact, he just told me this morning that he wants to go back to Nicaragua; and I would be more than happy to take him. All of us were able to see and savor Christ in an environment completely different from what we are used to at home. That by its nature enlarges our souls and gives us a greater capacity to know Christ… a process that will undoubtedly continue in all of us throughout all of eternity.

Of the many highlights, one was being able to lay a tile floor in the kitchen of the boys’ home. Never before have I laid tile and will probably never lay it again in such a manner as we did. In this area, I am what some refer to as unskilled labor; but we were somehow able to pour cement and lay tiles into it with the result being a level floor. That I see as clear evidence that God is truly in control of all things. How amazing it is that He uses those of us with no skills or qualifications to do His work!

All of my trips to Nicaragua seem to contain at least one scenario including a spider or two. This one was no different. After the broom-clad army chased it from the ceiling, it was hastily put inside of a Tupperware container… alive. Shortly after, we realized no one was willing to open the container in order to kill it for fear of its escape. So, we put it in the freezer and let nature take its course.

No trip to a third-world country is ever complete without a trip to a water park… right? Well, I was actually somewhat impressed with this one. Only one of our team members had to visit the hospital to have his knee stitched after cutting it open on the slide. Regardless, we and the boys from the house along with all the staff spent an entire day splashing and sliding around. There are eight boys living in the house now. Some of them I first met three years ago when they were still on the street. Seeing the difference in them now is even clearer evidence that God is in control of all things. How amazing it is that He uses those of us with no skill or qualifications to do His work!

Just as inevitable as the spider encounters is my coming home with a stiff realization of my own depravity. Every time a visit Nicaragua, I understand in greater degrees the depths of my sin and my flesh’s fervent enterprise to divert me from God. In II Corinthians 1:8-9, Paul says that he was burdened excessively beyond his strength to the point of death so that he would not trust in himself but in God who raises the dead. Absurd are the ways in which I trust in myself and not on God who raises the dead. The depths of my depravity seem to go on far beyond what the eye can see. In it, though, I come to see what great a need I have for the One for whom and through whom we exist (I Cor 8:6). In this, I rejoice. Yes, I will gladly rejoice in my unquenchable need for the infinitely sufficient Christ who was and is and always will be!

Hoping in Him,

Jason N. Bolt

 

Some Photos From Nicaragua